like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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