no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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