New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
