I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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