They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize