Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
