if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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