the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
