That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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