He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
3 2 1 whiskey
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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