I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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