nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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