FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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