We're facebook friends in real life
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
