i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
