thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
