I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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