Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
