he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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