Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize