If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
