I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
