he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
