i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
