Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
