she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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