My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
