Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
