he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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