i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
its liver damage thursday
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
