White coat. Heels.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
