Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
