I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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