Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize