I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
