I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize