3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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