Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
