i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize