Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
