Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
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