3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize