Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
