i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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