is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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