I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
