Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
A+ Viking dick
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize