I want to stick my p in your. b.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
