if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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