So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
