i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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