Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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