At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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