he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
