I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize