As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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