Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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