There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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