I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
