Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
