At least make sure they are 18
Why
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
