I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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