i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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