That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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