I wish my penis had an off switch
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
