he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
