Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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